Themes in Genesis: Marriage Ceremony Custom in Genesis

The Ceremony

 Then Jacob said to Laban, “Give me my wife. My time is completed, and I want to lie with her.” So Laban brought together all the people of the place and gave a feast. But when evening came, he took his daughter Leah and gave (brought) her to Jacob, and Jacob lay with her (Genesis 29:21-23).

This is the closest we can get to what a marriage ceremony was like in the time of Genesis.

1. There was a dowry paid.  In Jacob's case the dowry is 7 years of work, because Jacob had nothing else to pay, his uncle bargained with Jacob for 7 years of his life (which turned out to be 14).

2. There was celebration in the form of a feast. There was probably a lot of wine involved in this celebration.  There is no mention specifically about who or how many were invited, but from the fact that Leban "gathered together" the people of the place, I would venture to say that the people worked for, or were servants to, Leban.  Leban would not gather the locals, but rather, he would invite them.

When Isaac was married, his bride was given a party before she was sent to get married.  So it looks like partying was a big part of getting married, as it is today.

3. The Father walked the new bride to the honeymoon tent.  This may or may not have been a common ritual.  Leban was trying to deceive his new son-in-law into marrying the wrong daughter, so he may have created his own ritual that night, in order to bring the bride to her husband's tent.  By bringing her to him, Jacob (the groom) would already be in the dark waiting for his bride.  Jacob's father-in-law could easily sneak in the bride's sister instead of the bride.  On the other hand, this march to the tent of consumation may easily have been a common practice.

The most important part of the wedding was the consumating the relationsip in a tent.  Not only did Jacob mention this in particular to his father-in-law, but when Isaac married Rebeka, the only thing we know about the wedding is that "he brought her into his mother's tent".   Isaac was very much a mother's boy, and the fact that he went into her tent does not mean that it was a practice of the day.  I am guessing that Isaac never left his mother's tent.

4. Finally, there was the consumation of the relationship.  More than any part of his wedding, Jacob looked forward to this part.  He was very bold telling Leban, his father-in-law, that it was time for him to have sex with his daughter.  Very few people would dare to speak like this to their father-in-law in our society (U.S.A.), but remember, this was a culture where children were raised in a sex filled atmoshere (among the cattle).  It was a part of life that carried no shame or hiding in discussion.

What's Missing?

1.  There is no mention of any veil or of whatever clothes the bride wore.  I assume that the bride would dress in her best clothes.

2.  There is no ceremony as we know it.  Because Jacob unknowingly had sex with his bride's older sister, he was bound in marriage to her and not to the one celebrated in the party; so I conclude that there was no ceremony in the celebration.  What did bind them in this case were two things - Father walking his daughter to the tent and the couple having sex.  In the end I would say that the march to the tent was a ritual.

The Summary:

1.  The bridegroom waited under his covers in the tent.  He had quite a bit to drink, but not too much to put him out.
2.  While the party cheered, the father walked his daughter, the bride, to her new husband's tent.
3.  The father returned to the party, talking about the good days to come while the couple consumated their relationship inside the tent.